163. Mental Health Stigma in Students ft. The Priory

Mental Health, and my relationship with it, is something that I've discussed on the blog before and I got a wonderful response from you, my readers; some of whom had been through similar things and could empathise and relate to what I'd written. It was a lovely feeling to know that the post had made at least one person feel better, or less alone and ostracized.

I was recently contacted by The Priory, regarding a new campaign they are running to raise awareness of mental health conditions in students. As this is a subject so close to home for me, I really wanted to share some of their information and resources with you. 

According to a new study, over 60% of students have struggled to believe when a friend or acquaintance has told them they're suffering from a mental health condition. It's no secret that many people struggle to believe in mental health problems; as they're easy to hide, they often affect the people you would least expect, and they are mental and emotional, compared to a physical issue which you would be able to see.

Further research also found that a quarter of students feel uncomfortable when talking to their peers about mental health, and that a shocking 50% of them have received negative backlash as a result of speaking out about mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety. Although I'm not a student, I am still within the student age range and many of my friends are currently studying; I felt exactly the same about discussing my anxiety and only opened up to a few close friends before I decided to share my story on here, mainly for the fear (as echoed in the above statistics) that people would not believe me, or would think I was exaggerating. It's awful that this stigma is still attached to mental health. 

Dr Ian Drever, Consultant Psychiatrist at the Priory Hospital Woking explained:

“Going to university is a time of real life change for young people, what with them leaving home, having very different looking days and a whole set of new stresses and social surroundings. Whenever change happens in people’s lives it’s a sort of pinch point when anxiety or indeed any form of mental illness, is more likely to arise. If students are also being subjected to isolation and stigma, this can heighten illness and make it more likely to arise in the first place.”

He recommended that: “Students need to keep an eye out for the signs they may be developing a mental health condition, including problems sleeping, concentrating, and being sociable. Although it’s easier said than done I think it’s important that students share how they feel with a close friend or a healthcare professional. They need to acknowledge to themselves that they are not well, or not happy, and that it’s time to get help.”

University, college and school are all environments that can easily become stressful and associated with negative feelings, so it's easy to understand why students are so prone to mental health issues. My main advice would be the same as The Priory's: speak to someone. Whether it's a friend, a teacher, a family member or a healthcare professional - it helps just to get it out in the open and lift that weight from your shoulders. 

Rather than letting depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, eating disorders, agoraphobia, anger issues or any other mental health problem affect your quality of life please, please do something about it.

The Priory have rehabilitation centres and specialist consultants nationwide - you can view their website here. 

*** I received no reimbursement in any shape or form, financial or otherwise, for this blog post. Diagrams are taken from this source, and the statistics were provided for me by The Priory ***

150. What is it like being fat AND pregnant?

Being fat is never easy; clothes shopping becomes a pain, society bombards you with guilt-inducing media and comments on a daily basis, doctors tell you that many of your health problems could be fixed if you “lose a bit of weight,” you are judged as lazy, unmotivated, greedy and disgusting... I could go on all day.

So what is it like being fat and pregnant?

Photo credit: www.parentdish.co.uk

When I found out I was pregnant, before I told anybody – including S – I was instantly racked with guilt and worry; I’m too fat to have a baby, I thought to myself. Whenever we, as a couple, had discussed starting a family I’d always said I wouldn’t want to start ‘trying’ until I was a “healthy weight” as I was all too aware that being overweight adds extra risk to the pregnancy, plus I wanted to be able to show off my growing bump without worrying that people might just think I was getting fatter, or that rather than having a beautiful, rounded, protruding bump, my baby bump would simply merge into my pre-existing belly and just look like I was carrying far too much weight. Kind of sad, right? Telling yourself that you can’t have a baby until you’re a desirable, “healthy” size...

I began to research into the risks of being overweight during pregnancy and, quite frankly, scared myself silly. Increased risk of miscarriage, pre-eclampsia, having a large baby, diabetes, the baby being overweight in later life; the lists were endless and they terrified me. For weeks, I had to keep talking myself out of saying “no, we can’t have this baby” – and it almost brings me to tears to think that I thought like that purely because I thought I was too fat to have a baby. 

I made an appointment to see a midwife when I was around 8 weeks pregnant and, despite being incredibly supportive, she again went through all the 'problems' with being overweight during pregnancy and, after I was weighed and my height measured, I was classified as obese and therefore: high risk.

Being high risk means that not only can I not give birth in my local hospital or at home but I have to have specialist consultants with me during the birth, I need extra scans and I am limited in terms of my birthing options. It also sounds terrible, and makes me feel even more nervous about not only the babies health, but mine too. 

However, even with all these odds stacked against me, I've been so lucky so far as nothing has gone wrong. Although I'm only 17 weeks gone and, therefore, still in the early stages I feel so grateful that so far I've not been tested positive for, or suffered from, any of the risks that the midwife and doctor was so worried about. My blood pressure has remained steady and healthy, I haven't piled on the pounds (in fact, I still weigh exactly the same as I did over 3 months ago) and, in general, I feel good. I just hope that it stays like this.

On the other hand, I've started to suffer from stretchmarks. I've had stretchmarks ever since I hit puberty about ten years ago, first appearing on my inner thighs then my breasts and hips as I grew, later on as I gained weight a few of them appeared on my stomach and even faint ones on my upper arms, but when I noticed a few new marks on my stomach a couple of days ago, I almost cried (but then felt ridiculous and almost selfish for doing so.)

I'm so relieved that this is the only issue I've had so far. I'm trying not to let the cosmetic 'imperfections' bother me and focus on mine and the babies health, and I'll keep you all update throughout my pregnancy. I have my 20 week scan in just under three weeks so I'll be sharing a little bit more with you then!

117. Lifestyle // Health Update No. 2

Today's post will be short & sweet. I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to post my health update but I kept putting it off because, to be honest, I've been just about as unhealthy as is humanely possible lately... Alcohol? Tick. Takeaways? Tick. Ciggies? Tick. 

Somehow I've managed to maintain my weight but, in all honesty, I feel like I deserve to have gained. My only redeeming moment was that I went swimming with a work colleague last week, but it was one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-filled experiences I've had in recent years.

It had been at least four years since I'd been in a swimming costume in front of anybody. Even though I wore a baggy t-shirt on top of my swimming costume, I still felt overwhelmingly self-conscious and remained in the pool as much as possible, so that nobody would have to could look at me.

Source

It got me to thinking, if I can't be comfortable in a swimming pool, wearing a t-shirt with no more than 6 people around me, how on earth am I going to be able to sunbathe on a beach or relax by the poolside in a bikini, in just five weeks time? It's time to change not only my eating and exercising habits, but my mindset.

I don't want a holiday ruined by negative, niggling thoughts 'she looks so much better than me' 'I bet S is so embarrassed by me in my bikini' etc, etc, you know the drill.

Over the next few weeks I'm going to really work on my self-confidence, through affirmations, learning how to accept a compliment and focusing on the things that I love about myself rather than those that I despise. 

I've also got a few tricks up my sleeve to lose a few pounds and I'll be testing out a couple of new weight loss programs, so I'll be sharing those in my next health update! Wish me luck.

Do you have any tips?

What are your favourite healthy recipes?

105. Lifestyle // Health Update No. 1

I'd like to start off by apologising for my lack of posts in the last week; sometimes life just gets in the way, you know? I have a very stressful job (woe is me, I know) and, to be honest, when I get home all I want to do is cabbage on the sofa, stick on some Breaking Bad and relax. However, I can't do this forever as I miss blogging too much!

Today is the second installement of my new Health Update series, following on from my Wake Up Call post, which I published last month. I'm trying to keep these updates fortnightly as I love to read up on other peoples progress, failures and successes, and I'd hope that people would like to do the same with me. 

It is now three weeks since I was admitted to hospital with crippling abdominal pains and suspected gallstones. After blood tests, antibiotics and painkillers, I was told that I needed to change my diet drastically. No more dairy, fatty, oily or processed foods, to cut down on smoking and drinking and - basically - to live a healthier lifestyle in order to avoid my symptoms worsening.

So what I have I changed? For the last three weeks, I've been so much more cautious about what I've been eating. I haven't denied myself anything - if I want something, I'll have a small portion - but I've cooked a lot more food from scratch, cut out tea and coffee and (apart from a few treats) alcohol, increased my fibre intake and drank a hell of a lot more water (hello 15 loo breaks a day!)

I've also become an avid user of My Fitness Pal, which is seriously amazing when you're trying to track what you eat. It's not just about calories either, which is good - it tracks your fat, carbohydrate and protein intake as well as monitoring how much cholesterol, vitamins and saturated fats, etc, you're taking in.

Over the last three weeks, I've averaged 1,750 calories per day and - on the whole - I've stuck to my recommended fat, protein and carbohydrate intake. S and I have shared a few takeaways, several bottles of red wine and even a few cheeky bars of chocolate, but I've still managed to lose 9lbs (this was my weight one week ago, so it may be even more now!) 

As it's not all about weight, it's about health, I think that it's important to mention that I generally feel much better too. I haven't got any abdominal pains, I feel far less bloated and just so much happier in myself. I've still got a long way to go and I'm, by no means, out of the woods just yet but I'm getting there...

In my next post I'll be sharing my favourite recipes from my new cookbook Skinny Weeks & Weekend Feasts by Gizzi Erskine.

Are you on a health or weight loss journey?

Do you have any tips that you'd like to share?

99. Lifestyle // Wake Up Call

Today's post is fairly personal and, for me, a pretty serious subject. If you're fed up of 'oh I need to lose weight and get fit' style posts then, yeah, this one isn't for you. But I really want/need (for my own sake) to share this with somebody. 

Over the last few months, I have suffered from a number of health problems; from just achy legs when walking, to breathlessness and some other not-so-nice issues, but on Thursday afternoon I was sent to A&E - in absolute agony and with a fever - with suspected gallstones. 

For those of you who aren't aware of what gallstones are, they're stones that form in your gallbladder and are made up of cholesterol. If they get trapped, they cause intense abdominal pain, particularly in the upper right-hand side of your abdomen. It can also lead to inflammation of the gallbladder, which is also very painful. 

Gallstones and, in general, gallbladder problems are caused by chemical imbalances of bile and cholesterol, but are more likely if you're overweight (guilty as charged) and eat a very fatty diet (once again, guilty...)

After several hours in A&E and a few tests, I was informed that I had a blood infection which was - most likely - due to an inflamed gallbladder, however I won't get my full blood results back until later this week, and will have to see where to go from there. I was prescribed antibiotics and strong painkillers, advised to book an ultrasound scan of my gallbladder and told - very bluntly - to change my lifestyle. 

Alcohol, fatty, oily and processed foods, dairy and cigarettes are now off the menu, if I want to be able to control my symptoms and stop this from returning. 

I guess this was the shock that I needed to scare me into making some big changes. For far too long, my diet has been atrocious - takeaways, red wine, huge amounts of refined carbohydrates and very little exercise - so it's no wonder I've got myself into this mess. 

After a couple of chats with two friends who have also suffered from gallstones and/or gallbladder problems in the past, I came away feeling positive and motivated. They advised me to simply watch what I eat, to eat little and often, to cut out the crap and to take better care of myself - and wait for the rewards to come rolling in (or dropping off, in the form of lbs). 

Since Thursday, I had been practically bed-bound and lost my appetite completely, unintentionally. However, from Saturday afternoon on wards I began to feel myself again and was able to eat a couple of meals and get my energy levels up, as the antibiotics began to kick in. 

I now feel OK. I'm not going to lie and say that I feel fantastic because I don't. I'm still in pain, my sleep is disturbed and I have bouts of dizziness, but I know that I'm getting better, and if I want to keep heading in the right direction I need to make a few a lot of changes...

No more comfort eating and quick, easy junk food. No more sitting on my backside all day and then wondering why I don't have a six-pack. No more 'oh go on then' when I'm offered biscuits, sweets or a cup of sugary tea in the office. 

It's time to take responsibility for my health. 

Starting BMI (going by my home scales): 36.8 - morbidly obese

Starting waist measurement: 37"

I plan to do a post every week or so, to let you know how I'm getting on both weight-wise and health-wise, and whether there have been any updates. There is no end date for this journey and there are no specific goals other than to feel better both physically and emotionally. 

Wish me luck.

71. Lifestyle // Get Fit in 12 Weeks: Week Two

I - along with Kate at Ruby Duchess - am now officially one week into the Get Fit in 12 Weeks challenge and, to be honest, I think it's going to take me a lot longer than 12 weeks if the past 7 days are anything to go by...

Source

Now, that's not to say that I've been terrible: I haven't. I haven't binged, I haven't eaten loads of chocolate or devoured an entire takeaway in the space of ten minutes; no, I've been okay-ish. 
But okay-ish just isn't good enough.

Although I've done a lot more exercise than usual (despite hurting my ankle with my horrendous squat technique!) and eaten less than normal, I did have a few bad days. During the week I stuck to a pretty healthy diet; porridge or cereal for breakfast, a sandwich with plenty of salad, or pasta with veggies, for lunch but it was when I got home that I found it hard to resist temptation.

On Thursday night, I went out for food and drinks with work and seemed to completely forget that I was trying to eat healthily... 4 glasses of wine, bruschetta and a huge portion of lasagna later... I remembered.

The weekend was also pretty bad! On Saturday I went to Greggs (what was I thinking?!) and ate a ridiculous amount of food. We then went out for drinks in the evening and that ended with a pizza from a pretty dingy takeaway. On Sunday, we treated ourselves to a Sunday dinner, and I also had a little (well, A BIG) bit of chocolate. Oh, and some full fat coke. Oops!

I'm actually quite disappointed with my 'performance' last week, as I was so motivated but just lost track along the way. However, on wards and upwards, as they say! We're now into week two, and that means new challenges!

1. Workout Intensity: start to jog even if it's in intervals; aim to be active for at least 20 minutes, running as much as you can. Or, walk, run or sprint, up the stairs for 20 minutes (including resting). Or, do some sort of exercise or activity that you enjoy and that also burns calories, for 30 minutes! I am going to aim to do some 'intense' exercise for 100 minutes (altogether) this week. 

2. Tone it: the plan suggests press-ups and I've chosen the beginner version as I truly am a beginner when it comes to exercising! I'm aiming for 200 press-ups, in sets of 50 at a time, this week - holding each press-up for 20 seconds. 

Source

3. Cut Down on White Flour: the plan recommends that I cut down on white flour, especially refined varieties such as white bread, pasta, etc, and instead opt for wholemeal pittas, wholemeal pasta or bran-based cereals, as refined wheat turns to sugar really fast which can leave you feeling hungry and unsatisfied. White flour also makes me bloat, so giving it up will be a win/win situation really! 

4. Say No to Caffeine: it's suggested at this point in the challenge, that I limit myself to two caffeinated drinks a day. To be honest, I don't drink tea or coffee really so this shouldn't be too difficult. It'll be keeping away from coke (of the fizzy, liquid variety...) that'll be the challenge!

So far today I've done really well, despite going out for lunch with a friend, I've managed to eat quite healthily; having a wholemeal bagel for breakfast, a ham & mango wrap with salad for lunch, only one cup of tea, and sausages (I know that's not great but, hey! I'm allowed one treat a day, right?) with potatoes and vegetables, for dinner. I've also done a fair bit of walking around and I'm going to do my press-up's once I've finished blogging for the night!

I can't wait to do my next update a week today: fingers crossed it'll be more positive than this weeks update!

Lots of Love,
Becci xo

66. Lifestyle // Get Fit in 12 Weeks

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I want to lose weight. 

I feel like I'm trapped in an endless cycle of losing weight, plateauing  gaining weight, and so on. I'm always looking for new (sensible and realistic) ways to lose weight, tone up and - generally - get fit, without all the silly diet shakes and crash diets, and now - thanks to the lovely Ruby Duchess - I feel like I've found the key!

Ruby tweeted about her 'Get Fit in 12 Weeks' plan and I thought, hey! That sounds good! So I'm going to give it a go too. You can find out a bit more of an in depth explanation of the plan here, on Ruby's blog, but I'm going to jot down the basics for my reference on here too.

Week One is like an introduction to healthy living. It is that you do the following:

1. Swim, cycle or walk for at least 20 minutes every other day
2. Do toning exercises; this week it's squats - 3x20 reps, 3-5 times a week
3. Record your resting heart-rate every morning 
4. Keep track of the amount of exercise you have done each day and your energy levels after
5. Record your weight (I will do this every Monday morning)
6. Drink a minimum of 2L of still water per day
7. Eat little and often
8. Avoid processed foods and stick to natural produce

Then next week it steps up a gear!

Source

I feel that this plan is very realistic; it's not too intense and it doesn't say 'NO!' to anything. Although the plan recommends that you avoid processed foods and opt for natural produce, such as nuts, fruit, etc, it doesn't ban you from having the odd biscuit or cuppa. 

The exercise plan is also perfect for me as I'm no gym bunny. I'm quite unfit physically; I do get out of breath when I run up the stairs and my legs ache after a long walk, or when I cycle. So, this way, I can gradually get used to doing a little bit more, week by week.

I'll also be keeping track of my calories (although it is not one of the rules) as it helps me so much; knowing what I've 'got left over' for the rest of the day. I'll aim for 1,600 calories each day which I think is sensible, and won't leave me starving. 

I'm also going to allow myself to have a few treats. It wouldn't be a weekend without some wine, or a take-away, or a tasty pudding and I don't want to treat this as a diet - it's a lifestyle change. 

I will try to update once a week to let you all know how I'm getting on, and to help myself monitor my progress. Last week I hd already been bitten by the healthy-eating bug, and I managed to lose 1.2lbs already, which I'm so happy about.

Fingers crossed I can keep it up :) If you'd like to join in, let me or Ruby know!

Lots of Love,
Becci xo 

48. Health // Health Update #2

This week has not been great... I know, I know, I said this last week and I said I'd improve but - to be honest - working in an office, sitting on my bum all day in the centre of town surrounded by temptations, turns me into a big, fat pig. I've also been so exhausted from work that I've had no (seriously, none whatsoever) energy to do anything, plus the heat kind of makes me just want to sit in a beer garden and drink cider. Which is exactly what I've done. 3 times in the last 7 days. Oops...

Therefore it's no real surprise that I've gained 1" on my hips, bust and 2" on my waist in the last fortnight. Plus, I gained 1lb. In other words: it has been a disaster.

But, do you know what? I'm so happy at the moment. I'm so busy and I love it. I've been working hard everyday, learning new things and being challenged which has been great. I've also spent a lot of time catching up with friends now that they're back from university and the evenings are light, and warm, enough to go for a drink or a walk after work. S and I are going through a really good phase (hopefully it's not just a phase...) at the minute and things are just generally looking up.

Having said that, I'm not happy with my appearance. I do feel like I have really let myself go. I feel bigger than ever before, despite the fact that I'm still over a stone lighter than I was 6 months ago. 

When I look in the mirror all I see is a blob. Every outfit I try on, I hate. I hate the way I look in my clothes and I hate the way that I look out of my clothes. I feel bad for S having a girlfriend who is such a mess and I feel sorry for my body and what I'm doing to it.

It really is time to change. I will never be skinny and I'm OK with that, I don't want to be skinny, that's not me. I like being curvy, but I don't like the way I feel about how I look right now, and that is spurring me on to work harder until I can honestly say that I'm happy with every aspect of my life and, right now, my health and my body are the two main areas for improvement.

I promise (x 746404382) that I will try harder next week, I won't let you (or myself!) down.

Lots of Love, Becci xo

45. Health // Update #1

OK, I have an admission to make. Despite how motivated I thought I was and how much I was ready to get back into healthy eating: the last 7, or 8, days have been a disaster.

I've had one or two days where I stuck to my goals but the rest of the week I've either not thought about what I've eaten, or I've spent all day thinking about (and eating) food. So, yeah, not great.

The only positive change that I've made is that I've been 'doing' more. I now walk to work and back everyday (it's only a twenty minute journey all-in-all but it's half uphill) and, as I get a one-hour lunch break, I've been going for a wander every lunchtime also.

Next week, I'm hoping to go swimming for at least 2 hours with a friend. I did a bit of research and found that swimming is an amazing activity for weight-loss and general health and, in my opinion, it's not too strenuous. The only challenge is braving walking from the changing rooms to the pool in my swimming costume. I cringe at the thought of it.

I think that the reasoning behind my whole failed health-kick this week in particular is that I started a new job and so my routine has been messed about a bit. I've also been away from home so I've not had as much choice when it comes to meal times. I've had to eat what S wants and, trust me, he's not a big fan of salads.

However, I'm now back home and I'm going to write up a real, sensible meal plan for the next 7 days and hopefully stick to it and incorporate some exercise too. Once I get paid from my new job, I'm hoping that I'll be able to go swimming or go to an exercise class, a few times a week.

I hope you enjoyed my little update about my (un)healthy week. 

Note to self: can do better.

Love, Becci xo

41. Health // My Health Kick (Round Two)

Today's post is something a little different and bit more personal than usual too. Today I'm going to talk about the health kick I've embarked on (for the billionth time) this week.

On January 1st, I kicked off my healthy living pledge and managed to lose around 20lbs in the first three months, simply by eating less and doing more. I didn't cut anything out of my diet; I limited refined carbohydrates (white bread, pasta, rice) and ate more fruit and vegetables. I let myself have a treat, within reason, when I fancied something naughty and I didn't punish myself if I over ate.

However, after three months, my motivation began to dwindle and I fell back into old, bad habits. Since the start of April, I have re-gained somewhere between 7-10lbs and I feel just as big as I did at the end of last year. 

So, I've pledged to get back into healthy living again and try to lose somewhere between 2 and 3 stone, by Christmas. I'm really heavy; like massively heavy. According to a BMI calculator (which, for the record, are total bullsh*t) I'm 'morbidly obese,' when in reality, I think I'm just 'a bit fat.' 

I have no issues with people being overweight, chubby or fat - I just don't like it on me. I don't want to be thin, I don't even want to be slim... I just want to be able to be happy with my body and the way that it looks in, and out of, clothes. 

My current measurements (please don't laugh...) are as follows:

Bust - 45" 

(No, this isn't a typo... I have huge boobs... Awkward)

Waist - 34"

Hips - 43"

Bare in mind that I'm only 5' 4" so, in reality, I'm quite short and wide. Blurgh. I'm not going to write down my weight as I'm too embarrassed (I'm actually also embarrassed by the fact that I'm embarrassed about my weight but, hey, that's just how I am as a person), but I'll update weekly to let you all know how I'm getting on.

I'm aiming for 1.5lbs a week through sensible, healthy eating and increasing the amount of exercise I do; this will just be walking and some toning exercises; I am not - I repeat: NOT - joining a gym. It's my idea of Hell.

Anyway, enough rambling... I hope you enjoyed this post. I know it's something that a lot of people can relate to so I thought it'd be nice to share my journey with you! I might even post some pictures if I've got the nerve!

Love Becci xo