Friday, 12 July 2013

48. Health // Health Update #2

This week has not been great... I know, I know, I said this last week and I said I'd improve but - to be honest - working in an office, sitting on my bum all day in the centre of town surrounded by temptations, turns me into a big, fat pig. I've also been so exhausted from work that I've had no (seriously, none whatsoever) energy to do anything, plus the heat kind of makes me just want to sit in a beer garden and drink cider. Which is exactly what I've done. 3 times in the last 7 days. Oops...

Therefore it's no real surprise that I've gained 1" on my hips, bust and 2" on my waist in the last fortnight. Plus, I gained 1lb. In other words: it has been a disaster.

But, do you know what? I'm so happy at the moment. I'm so busy and I love it. I've been working hard everyday, learning new things and being challenged which has been great. I've also spent a lot of time catching up with friends now that they're back from university and the evenings are light, and warm, enough to go for a drink or a walk after work. S and I are going through a really good phase (hopefully it's not just a phase...) at the minute and things are just generally looking up.

Having said that, I'm not happy with my appearance. I do feel like I have really let myself go. I feel bigger than ever before, despite the fact that I'm still over a stone lighter than I was 6 months ago. 

When I look in the mirror all I see is a blob. Every outfit I try on, I hate. I hate the way I look in my clothes and I hate the way that I look out of my clothes. I feel bad for S having a girlfriend who is such a mess and I feel sorry for my body and what I'm doing to it.

It really is time to change. I will never be skinny and I'm OK with that, I don't want to be skinny, that's not me. I like being curvy, but I don't like the way I feel about how I look right now, and that is spurring me on to work harder until I can honestly say that I'm happy with every aspect of my life and, right now, my health and my body are the two main areas for improvement.

I promise (x 746404382) that I will try harder next week, I won't let you (or myself!) down.

Lots of Love, Becci xo

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